Nov 114 min read

Day 11 - Self-Care Choose Your Own Adventure

Updated: Nov 22

How It Works

30-Day "Choose Your Own Adventure" Self-Care Challenge where each day you choose between nurturing your inner Gremlin (embracing chaos, fun, and breaking rules) and being your Higher Self (grounded, nurturing, and wise).

This balance will help you explore both sides of your self-care needs, from lighthearted fun to deeper reflection.

Day 11: Handle Stress

Gremlin Choice:

Stress Meltdown!!!!

Have a dramatic stress meltdown on purpose. Exaggerate your reactions to stressful things (think over-the-top dramatic like a movie). Once you’ve let it out, laugh at yourself for the performance.

Higher Self Choice:

Soothing Techniques:

Use a calming technique like deep breathing, a warm bath, or meditation to soothe yourself during stress. Let your higher self guide you through with compassion.

What did you decide today?

What exactly is true self-care

True self-care goes beyond surface-level activities and is more about consistently meeting your genuine needs, setting boundaries, and taking steps toward your well-being in a deep and meaningful way.

Self-abandonment:

Self-abandonment occurs when you neglect your own needs, feelings, and values in favor of pleasing others or conforming to external expectations.

People-Pleasing

Constantly prioritizing others’ needs and desires over your own, even when it leads to your discomfort or resentment.

Counteracting self-abandonment is about strengthening your connection to yourself and honoring your needs. Here are some strategies to help rebuild self-trust, reconnect with your inner voice, and practice self-acceptance and support:

Challenge People-Pleasing Tendencies

Notice when you’re saying “yes” out of obligation rather than genuine desire. Start practicing small, polite declines in situations where your energy is limited.
With time, this practice helps reduce the pull to prioritize others over your own needs.

Challenging people-pleasing tendencies can foster self-confidence, personal boundaries, and a balanced approach to relationships. Here are some more ways to work on this:

Identify Your Patterns: Start by noticing when you’re quick to say "yes" or go along with others, especially when it doesn’t align with your preferences. Recognizing the triggers for people-pleasing is the first step toward challenging it.
Practice Saying “No” in Small Ways: Begin with small, low-stakes situations to practice saying “no” or “let me think about it.” Getting comfortable with these responses strengthens your ability to set boundaries.
Reflect on Your Motivations: Ask yourself why you feel the need to please. Often, it’s rooted in fear of conflict, rejection, or feeling unworthy. Understanding the motivation can help you challenge these beliefs.
Set Clear Personal Boundaries: Define what you’re willing and unwilling to do. Boundaries give you a roadmap for saying “yes” or “no” and help reduce the impulse to people-please.
Prioritize Your Own Needs: Check in with yourself before responding to requests, assessing your energy, time, and mental space. If you’re stretched thin, remember that it’s okay to prioritize your well-being.
Pause Before Committing: When someone asks you for something, give yourself a moment to consider your answer. Pausing allows you to respond intentionally rather than reflexively.
Challenge Negative Self-Talk: People-pleasers often worry they’ll be disliked if they assert themselves. Counteract this with positive affirmations like, “My needs are valid” or “I can say no with kindness.”
Practice Small Acts of Assertiveness: Start asserting your opinions in minor situations, like choosing a restaurant or sharing your preferences. This helps build confidence in expressing yourself.
Embrace Self-Validation: Recognize that you don’t need others’ approval to feel good about yourself. Shift your focus from seeking external validation to developing internal self-acceptance.
Visualize Positive Outcomes: Before you say “no” or assert your needs, imagine the other person respecting your boundary. Visualizing acceptance can make the process feel less intimidating.
Reframe “No” as Self-Respect: Remind yourself that saying “no” isn’t unkind—it’s an act of self-respect. This perspective helps reduce guilt or discomfort around setting limits.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Spend time with friends and family who respect your boundaries. Supportive relationships help reinforce the value of mutual respect and personal boundaries.
Practice Self-Compassion: It’s common to feel guilty or uncomfortable when breaking people-pleasing habits. Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge that you’re taking positive steps for your well-being.
Own Your Choices with Confidence: Avoid over-apologizing or over-explaining when setting boundaries. Stating your decision confidently helps you feel more grounded and reduces the need for external approval.
Reflect on Personal Values: Identify your core values and let them guide your actions. Focusing on what’s truly important to you helps you say “no” to things that don’t align with your values.
Reward Your Progress: Each time you successfully avoid people-pleasing, recognize it as a win. Celebrating progress, even small steps, reinforces your new behavior.
Identify and Resist “Rescue Mode”: Notice when you feel the need to “rescue” or solve others’ problems. Remind yourself that helping doesn’t mean overextending, and others can often manage without your intervention.
Limit Emotional Labor: People-pleasers often carry others’ emotions. Recognize that you don’t have to manage everyone’s feelings and let go of the pressure to “make everyone happy.”
Journal About Your Wins: Keep track of moments when you successfully honored your needs over people-pleasing. Reviewing these instances reinforces your confidence.
Recognize the Value of Balance in Relationships: Shift your focus from making others happy to cultivating balanced, respectful relationships. Healthy relationships involve give and take, where both parties’ needs are valued.